Thursday, August 11, 2011

The English Premier League kicks off this weekend. Let's travel the Globe and talk about it.

By Money Mike

The English Premier League kicks off its 2011-2012 season this weekend and I know a lot of you are excited to see your teams fight for the title, others are just making a big deal over nothing (Arsenal fans) while the rest of you folks hope your team avoids relegation at the end of the season (Fans of Swansea City, Norwich, Queens Park Rangers, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Wigan Athletic, etc.), but none of that matters right now. Right now, it's pretty much just a meet and greet kind of thing, every one starts even, new stars coming in and all of that. So I'm gonna go through all of this years Premier League teams and give a info on each of them, maybe give them a key for this season and also talk about the new players on each team because there were some crazy ass moves made during the offseason, especially from Arsenal. So let's go through and preview each team.


Well let me tell you something if you're gonna spend big money on youngsters, you might as well put them on the pitch. Mark Chamberlain, a former Portsmouth winger, back in June said he was eager for his son to join Arsenal as soon as possible to continue his development. And earlier this week they went big and signed his son. 17-year old Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain from League One side Southampton for about 12 million pounds. To be honest, I like this move. I know he was only a rookie last season but look at the numbers. 34 matches played and 9 goals scored. For a 17-year old, those are good numbers. Now can he make that transition to the Premier League level? And I think he can. Another big money signing was Gervinho from Lille OSC in France, he's the answer up front, so Robin van Persie won't be the lonely stoner up front. You know what, every time something happens, Arsenal fans just have to be negative about it. Talk about drunk ass people who know nothing about the hard work being put together by the front office. Comeon guys, quit you whining and get ready for a new season.

Key additions: Carl Jenkinson (Charlton Athletic), Gervinho (Lille OSC), Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (Southampton)

Aston Villa:

Well this team have had their ups and downs, but they are entering their 24th consecutive season of top flight "football". They hired Alex McLeish as their new manager during the offseason and in the process, picked up Goalkeeper Shay Given and Midfielder Charles N'Zogbia. I think Fabian Delph will play a key role in the midfield. Eric Lichaj should get more playing time defensively for the Villains. Of course they'll have Darren Bent up front with Gabriel Agbonlahor and Emile Heskey as well as Stephen Ireland. If Ireland get his head straight, I think Villa will contend for a UEFA Champions League spot for next season.

Key additions: Shay Given (Manchester City), Charles N'Zogbia (Wigan Athletic)

Blackburn Rovers:

Here's a team with a long history, Blackburn Rovers. They are in their 124th year of existence. And they're are one of only four teams that have won a Premier League Title. Blackburn is not gonna come close this year. It'll be mid-table mediocrity for them.

Key additions: David Goodwillie (Dundee United), Radoslav Petrovic (Partazian)

Bolton Wanderers:

Well this will be a record setting year for Bolton. You know what that record will be? The 73rd time they will compete at the top level without winning the title.

Key additions: Nigel Reo-Coker (Aston Villa), Chris Eagles (Burnley), Tyrone Mears (Burnley)


Here's a team that will contend for sure. Chelsea FC. This team pretty much blew their quest to defend their title last season and they ended up firing their manager Carlo Ancelotti. No real key additions for the summer. The lineup pretty much will look the same with Didier Drogba, Nicholas Alnelka, Fernando Torres, Frank Lampard, John Terry, Ramires, Saloman Kalou, etc.

Key additions: none


Now this team will struggle. Everton finished in a bad position last year and didn't make any moves to help with that. They have good players, they're just outcoached.

Key additions: none


Speaking of sluggish teams we're gonna go to Fulham. The only reason they qualified for Europe last season was because England was rewarded a fair play prize. Clint Dempsey might as well pack it up and look for a new team. But seriously, Fulham need to step their game up.

Key additions: John Arne Riise (AS Roma)


Well this is a sorry ass team here. Liverpool. I mean, you have a team that on paper is supposed to contend for the Premier League title and you don't even qualify for Europe. They're a bunch of pretenders. So many players wasting their life over there. Pack it up people. LIVERPOOL SUCKS!!

Key additions: Charlie Adam (Blackpool), Stewart Downing (Aston Villa)

Manchester City:

Speaking of sorry ass teams. This team just spends too much damn money. I mean really, you got enough big money players to contend for the title with your arch rivals. Why do you need more? Manchester City need to light up. Seriously. You got Zabaleta, you got Julian Lescott, you got Adam Johnson, you got David Silva, you got Dzeko, I mean god damn, you wanna go bankrupt?

Key additions: Gael Clichy (Arsenal), Sergio Aguero (Athletico Madrid)

Manchester United:

Manchester United. The New York Yankees of soccer. This team won their 4th title in 5 years last season and are looking to keep the title run going this season. Goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar, defender Gary Neiville and midfielder Paul Scholes all retired, but Man U never rebuild, they reload. During the offseason, they aquired kepper David de Gea from Athletico Madrid and defender Phil Jones from Blackburn and Ashley Young from Aston Villa. This is a dangerous attacking minded team with Wayne Rooney, Javier "Chicharito" Hernandez and Dimitar Berbatov.

Key additions: David de Gea (Athletico Madrid), Ashley Young (Aston Villa), Phil Jones (Blackburn Rovers)

Newcastle United:

Well Newcastle had a pretty good year in their return to top flight football last year. This team is going through a drought themselves. No Major trophies in over 30 years.

Key additions: Yohan Cabaye (Lille OSC), Demba Ba (West Ham United), Gabriel Oberton (Manchester United)

Norwich City:

What a run it has been for Norwich. Two years ago, refresh my memory, I believe this team was in the First Division and now they made a run all the way through the Championship and are now in the Premier League. But I think the Premier League is too much for them, I see them going down this year.

Key additions: James Vaughan (Everton), Ritchie De Laet (Manchester United; loan), Kyle Naughton (Tottenham Hotspur; loan)

Queens Park Rangers:

Queens Park Rangers, another newly promoted team. I don't think it will be that great of a season for them, but I don't think they will finish in the bottom three at the end of the season.

Key additions: Jay Bothroyd (Cardiff City), Kieron Dyer (West Ham United), Danny Gabbidon (West Ham United), D.J. Campbell (Blackpool), Bruno Perone (Tombense)

Stoke City:

Stoke City, the FA Cup runners up, getting ready for another challenging season. Just escaping relegation last year.

Key additions: Jonathan Woodgate (Tottenham Hotspur), Matthew Upson (West Ham United).


The Black Cats had a busy offseason bringing in players, getting rid of players. Let's see if it pays off for them this season.

Key additions: Ahmed Elmohamady (ENPPI), Ji Dong-Won (Chunnam Dragons), Craig Gardner (Birmingham City), Sebastian Larsson (Birmingham City), Wes Brown (Manchester United), John O'Shea (Manchester United), David Vaughan (Blackpool)

Swansea City:

This is Swansea's third year of top flight football and they'll end up suffering a drop to the Championship. I they'll be relegated this year.

Key additions: Michel Vorm (Utrecht), Wayne Routledge (Newcastle United), Leroy Lita (Middlesbrough)

Tottenham Hotspur:

Do you think I'm gonna waste my time talking about them? I'm an Arsenal fan. TOTTENHAM SUCKS!!

Key additions: none

West Bromwich Albion:

West Brom had a shaky preseason. I don't know, I think they'll be fighting for Safety this season.

Key additions: Ben Foster (Birmingham City; loan), Zoltan Gera (Fulham), Marton Fulop (Ipswich Town)

Wigan Athletic:

I don't like their chances of Safety. They just barely made it last year but this season? ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. I pick Wigan as the third team that will be relegated.

Key additions: Ali Al-Habsi (Bolton Wanderers), David Jones (Wolverhampton Wanderers), Nouha Dicko (Strasbourg)

Wolverhampton Wanderers:

Finally, the last team to talk about is Wolverhampton Wanderers. Wolves just survived the drop on the final day of last season. I think they'll fight for safety again and this time, not on the last day of the season, maybe with 3 weeks to go.

Key additions: Jamie O'Hara (Tottenham Hotspur), Dorus de Vries (Swansea City), Roger Johnson (Birmingham City)

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